Countless times we feel the urge to give up, but miraculously (or not), we recover and carry on.
Sometimes, because we haven´t anything better to do, other times just because we are lucky enough to have someone who can help us see the light, and other times because within ourselves, we recover the pride, the courage, and the energy necessary to keep on going.
Either way, we end up excelling ourselves. Although sometimes you do not realize it. I recommend that you look back and identify those moments when, against all odds, you were able to carry on.
This desire for improvement is essential to our children’s ADHD. They are very sensitive to error, to appear ridiculous in front of others, to incomprehension. They go through these kinds of situations so many times that they often think of quitting. When we see them in that attitude, it breaks our hearts and we do not know what to do … Oh no! This is a situation we cannot afford! I propose we move to a more conscious state of mind; what I mean by this is that we try to adopt a different attitude in order to overcome these situations. It is vital for everyone, but above all, for themselves and each of the family members.
Having the desire to excel is like striving to do things at their best. It is not about beating anyone, but to become what each of us can be. It enables our talents to grow and flourish.
The desire to improve is what brings us to the finish line.. People (and how many times have we seen this happening to our children …) who fear failure, usually tend to try, but not hard enough. They say: ‘It does not matter! I wasn´t doing my best anyway’. This is frustrating and at the same time a despair for parents as we might never know what they are actually capable of doing.
Usually, our kids are very talented in many creative areas: in sports … Maybe it would be a good idea to take every opportunity to speak to them about it and show them that they are able to give their best when their self-motivation pushes them to excel.
If not, they’ll leave things half-done; we know that, and they just quit. This leads to a spiraling thought dynamic: “Nothing matters much, in fact I do not mind too much”. Does this sound familiar to you?
What can we do to help? I would say just try out new things; try, try and try again! Open up new horizons, new possibilities for activities, readings, until they fall in love(literally) with something that catches their attention in an area where they feel understood, admired and appreciated. We should try that out too, by the way.
When they adopt the spirit of achievement, they will endeavor to do today what they could not achieve yesterday. Failure for them isn´t that important as they are willing to try it for themselves, because they are not content to give less than what they know that, in their hearts, they are able to give. And if I speak about the heart, and I insist, it is because to me, overcoming is not so much related with DOING things than as BEING ourselves. And that which can deeply motivate us is hidden in our deepest corner.
Therefore, we, as the leaders of our families, must be vigilant and be able to commit with our roles as facilitators for job opportunities, encounters, surprises, dreams … So, the million dollar question is:
What are we going to do tomorrow for them that we have not done today?